Corporations Might Just Be People After All

There is a lot of hullabaloo about whether Corporations are people or not. I think we all know the obvious answer is no. But I have a feeling that we are saying no for the wrong reason.

This is all hypothetical nonsense, but let’s go through a thought experiment: you wake up one morning as a dog. You are now incapable of speech. That’s a big one. You are also no longer considered a person. But life goes on. You are hungry, you bark, perform tricks, gain the trust of a human who will feed you and keep you relatively safe. They might sterilize you, but that’s a small price to pay in a world run by humans. If you were to escape, you could be run over or put in a shelter, and killed without so much as a trial. So you accept some compromises and live a mostly happy life chasing squirrels and digging holes.

Now let’s go back to your human life. You are capable of speech. You are considered a person. Life goes on. You are hungry, you apply to a job, perform tasks, and gain the trust of a corporation that will pay you and keep you covered by health insurance. They might require you to pay for your own contraception, but that’s a small price to pay in a world run by corporations. If you were to lose your job, you could fall off the wagon, have to go to the homeless shelter, and be killed by a police officer without so much as a trial. So you accept some compromises and live a mostly happy life riding bikes and writing articles on Medium.

I know, it’s not the same thing. But, who is to say that corporations (and governments) aren’t alive? Maybe we are just incapable of understanding the level they operate at.